Twin Headed Serpent Named: The Past

Day after day we are presented with obstacles that will ultimately define us for who we are now, who we will be, and who we have been.  These obstacles can be as trivial as you make that out to be or as complex as you allow them to be.

My past has never been full of great decisions, but every mistake I have made has been a learned experience.  I developed who I am now by allowing myself to embrace my mistakes and past decisions but not allowing them to define me.  Much reflection and contemplation as to “why” I had made that decision or reacted a certain way has entered into my life.

Just when we think we are on a good path and making strides to beat your demons,your past resurfaces to make a mockery of all you are accomplishing.

What Is This Thing We Call Faith?

There are so many controversies and deceit in the world.  It’s hard to decipher what is truth and what is manipulated to further particular parties own agenda.  Never is the full story covered.  One side covers one side, but leaves out details.  Conversely, the same goes with the other side of the story.

The first and most prominent example of this problem is the media and how they portray it to further their own propaganda.  The other biggest example is many religions.  However, religions ask that you go by your faith to believe that they are speaking the truth.

What is faith?

The Armor of Righteousness

So many different things are in my head but somehow I am having difficulty getting any of them out.  So many ideas for projects, stories, or just life ambitions. Because they are seemingly trapped in there, I am filled with terrible feelings of self-worth that spirals out of control.  How quickly do the thoughts of “why bother” enter the forefront of my head and be the only thing in there I can decipher.

Even now when I’m just trying to vent and release something I find myself being held up on something irrelevant to my current task.

I think often about what the first councilor of my church stake said: “the advisory will hold back and tempt more, with all his power, those who hold great power over him.”  This thought comes often because of my writing purpose to enhance my own spiritual growth, and to give hope and understanding to those who may be in a similar situation.  With the feeling of worthlessness the devil plays against me, the first councilor’s words also make me feel like I’m being prideful in thinking I’m something special.

Filling Our Water Bottle to Fill Buckets of Others

One of the worst feelings in the world to me is feeling like something is wrong but not knowing what it is to fix it or how to explain it.  Many a times I say “I’m sad about stuff” because I have no other way to express how I feel.  It’s not “sadness” in a loss sort of way and it’s not “stuff” in a material sort of way.  I imagine its how a water bottle feels after having its contents consumed…an empty bottle that once had a purpose.

The life of a water bottle starts off as an empty canister made of plastic with a purpose to hold liquids.  Those liquids will then hydrate and keep others well but it remains empty until someone fills it.  Once filled the water bottle has purpose, it has a goal, and it has a clear future.  The water bottle holds nourishment for the one who will partake.  It’s life is good.  But what happens when the water is depleted?  Now it’s just an empty bottle made of plastic.  It’s purpose was used up and now it lies on the ground, kicked under the bench and watching life continue on.

Turn the Other Cheek to Even the Score.

What goes around comes around. Karma’s a bitch. They’ll get their just deserts.

All these sayings are focused around a satisfaction of someone’s revenge.  Why do we think revenge will make bad deeds done to us even?  What is the word even, even have to do with this?  The definition of even is to be equal in number, amount, or value.  Curious use of the word value in that definition.

Every single person has different sets of skills and abilities that make us all unique and amazing.  Our unique selves should be used to lift each other up, to support each other, to amplify each others strengths.  Each of us also have different thresholds for trauma, pain, and distress.  Each of our unique thresholds could also be used to bring people down, to put them below you, or to create a sense of insecurity.  

Forgive and Forget, but don’t Forget to Forgive.

Miracles happen daily.  They may not happen daily in our lives, but they do in someone’s life.    Miracles can be small, the can be large, and the can indeed be miraculous.  You can believe that doctor’s perform miracles, scientist perform miraculous research, nature births miracles, and prophets of God perform miracles.

In church today a topic was discussed and a new twist of it came forth.  One member spoke of something to be a miracle I have never thought about.

The miracle of forgiveness.

Why And It’s Important What If

Life is full of the question why.  This is the question that ignites the fire that burns in our minds.  It inspires scientists to research cures.  It leads people into movements for justice and peace.  It allows us to not just accept things for what they are.

Why is a powerful idea.  However, a why is useless without what if…

What ifs put action to the why.  They create ideas and bring creativity to life.  But they also have a dark side.  When used inappropriately, they fester and rot in the cavity of the unknown.  They leave you feeling empty and lonely.  They fill you with doubt and only leave you with bitter whys.  And whys without what ifs are just wishes that will never come true.

The Support System We Have Always Had

Life is hard.  No matter what point you are in your life there is something that is difficult to deal with.  Some people can deal with it with ease.  Some people can deal with the most complex of situations while others get hung up on simple things.  The simple things are sometimes the hardest to overcome because not everyone understands why it’s difficult.

Not only do most understand not, they dismiss it completely.  That leaves the person feeling insignificant and left with feeling like they have a serious problem.  Why am I stuck on this so much when no one else seems to be bothered by this, they ask themselves.  Do they even know what they are stuck on?  

A Sincere Resolution

For as long as I could remember I have had a problem with tradition. Not in a rebellion aspect but more of a desire to create something new. There is one tradition type that I adore: ones that are focused around honoring memories of loved ones that have passed, traditions that bring happiness and joy to the heart and soul. While I think all traditions have good intent, the one that really gets under my skin is the tradition of new years resolutions.

Inspire Hope

Over the past few years, weaving in and out of the jobs that I’ve had, the question of what I want to do with my life, comes up often.  It is either asked by a colleague after hours to pass the time or in my own head to justify my current position.   The question isn’t about what job do I want or where I want to live.  It’s always deeper then that.

What is it that I want to do with my life.